Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Down The Broken Road ...

Every long lost dream
Led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart
They were like Northern Stars
Pointing me on my way
Into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That lead me straight to you….
(Rascal Flatts, “Bless The Broken Road”)
It has been a difficult week! Now, I know – I’m no saint. Never have been. And I trust in the Gospel, that all who believe and are baptized will be saved. But it’s hard, at times, to recognize that it’s at least partly my failures at truly righteous living that have brought me (and those I love) to these kinds of impasses. A friend suggested to me that there is a big difference between prayers of supplication where I turn my prayer concern over to God and let it go, and praying just to manipulate God into giving me what I want. Ouch. There are many days I still can’t find the line between those two. I know beyond any doubt that I know how to do the latter much better than the former.

And then there are the words from singer Wayne Watson’s old classic, “Home Free:”

Out in the corridor,
We pray for life
A mother for her baby
A husband for his wife
Sometimes the good die young
It’s sad but true
But while we pray for one more heartbeat
The real comfort is in You
You know, pain has little mercy
And suff’rings no respecter or age
Of rank or position
I know that every prayer gets answered
But the hardest one to pray
Is slow to come
“O Lord, not mine
But your will be done….

Yeah, no kidding, Wayne. When I heard of older children’s ‘difficulties’ so to speak, I told him, “I keep telling God, ‘You’re not checking my list!’ And the fact that I even have a list is a good sign that I’m not quite all there, spiritually…”
In the end, I have to come back to the simple answer: God is God, and I am not. This side of the final trumpet, I will never know the “whys.” All I can do is sing and pray Wayne Watson’s chorus:

Home free
At the ultimate healing
We will be home free…

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